WHY I'm changing my youtube content

If you know me from my YouTube channel you'd be forgiven for thinking I am a 'Beauty Blogger'. And in so many ways I am, I discuss makeup, affordable and high end, review some of the latest products, am passionate about skincare and have even dabbled in tutorials. It's also fair to say I do enjoy makeup and find it a much needed creative outlet. But you see, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I kind of fell into makeup videos. Let me explain by taking you back....

Just under a year ago I uploaded my first YouTube video. (I had uploaded videos prior to that but they were singing videos, very different from the sort of video I do now) You can't find that video on my channel anymore as it's so wooden and clunky I can hardly bear it, if I ever reach a large number of subscribers you'll see it again I promise. In fairness though, at the time I wasn't focussed on it being super high quality, I needed to know if I even wanted to pursue this little hobby. No point going out spending a fortune on equiptment to find I don't even like doing it. I didn't even know what I wanted to talk about, my early videos were mainly a mish mash of hauls from fashion, to makeup, to the ever glam Home Bargains. 

Fast forward a few months and I was totally in LOVE with YouTube. I thought about what videos I could do and how I could improve my content in every spare moment. Yet one request kept popping up on my videos - 'I love your makeup - Can you do some Makeup Tutorials?' I was massively flattered, and as a tiny YouTuber you want to thank your tiny audience by giving them what they want. Behind the scenes I'd become more interested in makeup, probably around the same time I started watching more and more YouTube. I was enthusiastic about it and happy to share this enthusiasm - so it seemed perfectly normal to take this route. And its not necessarily a bad one - Raw Beauty Kristi has well over 300,000 subscribers as I write this and she started makeup videos the same way - by viewers asking for tutorials when making rather different content. Having watched her open the Mac Lip Vault in a PR delivery wishing I was so lucky, you can't deny there's some very definite perks to being a 'Beauty Blogger'.

I was buying makeup all the time to showcase on my channel, and was unbelieveably flattered when people would wait to purchase the latest release until I had reviewed it. I was also watching a TON of YouTube, seeing so many girls doing hauls week after week. I figured if I wanted to be part of their world I should probably do this too. Primark Hauls are a massive favourite on YouTube, where some content creators with just a few hundred subscribers were racking up thousands of views overnight if their 'Primark Haul' happened to perform well. So I did a few myself, off I went to Primark buying bags full of stuff to show off on my channel. (I never returned all these items like some content creators do) All perfectly acceptable and often considered an investment in your channel. I kept trying to keep up with the young creators who seemed to make it big overnight, say the right things and be cool - whatever that is. 

'looking back now I don't think I was always being truly authentic, I was in some way trying to play a part'

So why am I telling you all this? Well, it's quite simple, looking back now I don't think I was always being truly authentic, I was in some way trying to play a part. Now many people on YouTube are indeed just playing a part and have an on camera persona, but for me, having built a truly wonderful community on my channel, I want to be myself. Share things with you about me that I would with a friend, because as daft as it sounds, I consider some of the people I chat with in the comments just that, friends. My more recent content I'm already being more myself, but now I'm ready to just be me, and hopefully you'll like me all the same.



So am I stopping creating beauty videos?

In a word, no. I still love makeup and all things beauty. But the content may be slightly different moving forwards. Rather than buying and reviewing every new thing that's released (and making the bank manager nervous with my spending), I want to chat more about the products I genuinely use regularly and share tips and tricks I've learnt along the way on my makeup journey. Some of these might be more high end products, and some are not, but I'd like to just share them and not worry if they aren't drugstore. I will probably still do tutorials but focus on looks you can recreate with products you probably already have than just one specific brand as currently I am not an ambassador for any in particular. I'm keen to be true to myself and what makeup I actually wear too, whilst I love dramatic makeup for parties and special events, in reality I don't really wear that day to day, I'm much more likely to be found in a warm neutral eyeshadow and a nude lip. Boring to some I'm sure, but it's reality for me.

I also want to encourage other women to be more accepting of themselves, something I'm working on too. After I turned 30, this became harder for me, I found I was comparing myself to all these beautiful women on social media and in a way is the reason I turned to Makeup.

Makeup is wonderful, and can give us confidence to face the day, but if you struggle with low self esteem you will always be looking for that next product the latest Beauty Guru says you should 'Drop everything and buy'. You are already Beautiful.

So what else might you expect?

Well, I know I've chatted in the comments over on YouTube about my love of Fashion and how I would love to share it more on YouTube and here on my blog. But here's where I have somewhat of a confession to make. I don't very often shop at Primark apart from basics like socks, tights and the odd on trend piece.

Wow, there I said it. It almost feels scary to say that. There's often a weird reverse snobbery in the YouTube world, or the bloggersphere as its sometimes called, that not shopping at Primark and buying more expensive pieces means you're not relatable or look down on others who do. From my perspective at least, this couldn't be further from the truth. I actually would recommend that people buy on trend pieces from stores like Primark. They are inexpensive and as the trend will be fleeting, unless you're rolling in cash, high end on trend pieces just aren't worth the 'investment'.

I'm not all that cool really, and I don't want to wear a bodysuit slashed to my navel, or the latest bralet. I look stupid if I try.

The thing is, I've never really suited the fleeting trends, often much to my dismay. Some of my friends look like actual A-listers in the most inexpensive on trend item, and me? Well I just look like I'm trying too hard. I'm not all that cool really, and I don't want to wear a bodysuit slashed to my navel, or the latest bralet. I look stupid if I try.

Although it may not be 'cool' I gravitate to classic preppy or elegant styles, I also seem to suit more classic cuts that never tend to go out of fashion. With that in mind I tend to chose predominately premium high street brands like Karen Millen, Whistles, Joules and Ralph Lauren to name a few with one or two more expensive items should I be able to afford it. This isn't about snobbery, more because they last really well, and the cuts tend to be more flattering to my body shape. Now don't get me wrong, there are some absolute gems to be found in more affordable stores, but in my experience over the years, every time I come to clear out my closet it tends to be those cheaper items that don't make the cut - mainly because they seem to show signs of wear very quickly and look old before their time. For me, this has often ended up being a false economy where I could have bought the more expensive item for the same price as the four I've had to donate. I'm by no means 'rich', so I often have to have just one piece anyway instead of four, so I guess it depends on individual preference. One big secret though, where I can, I buy most pieces in the sale! 

It's potentially not just Beauty and Fashion though...

Now in a way I've already started discussing this on my channel through my makeup no buy series, but as I will be turning 35 this year I'm becoming more interested in savings too. Many of us are working in industries that are far less stable than they were 20 years ago, in fact I have found I hear of someone being made redundant almost every month, so having a little in the bank isn't a bad thing, even if its just for peace of mind should the worst happen. I'd love to share ways I've managed to save, or things I've stopped buying to look after the pennies.

I'm also really interested in leading a healthier lifestyle. I've always eaten relatively well (albeit probably too much of it), but from this point on I'm focussing more on a healthy diet especially after discovering I have various food sensitivities. I absolutely LOVE a homemade smoothie and cooking from scratch so would be great to share that with you too, probably on here at first, but potentially on YouTube too. I'm also interested in a healthy lifestyle in the way we think, how we organise our homes, and how simple things can often bring us such joy and happiness.

I'm becoming much more confident with who I am and how I like to spend my time these days. As I said earlier, I am probably not the epitome of cool by social media standards. I like donning my Hunter boots and taking a walk in nature, enjoy visiting stately homes and spending time in quiet yet beautiful surroundings. Whilst I love to relax over a glass of bubbly in a cool sleek wine bar, I'm unlikely to be found in the latest club pushing my way to the bar with girls that are young enough I probably babysat them in my teens. I want to be myself, embrace the fact that I am no longer 21, and share my life with you in a more authentic way. If you follow me over on instgram you might have already noticed a change that is starting to encompass who I am a little more.

I hope that this is a journey you will join me on but if my changing content isn't for you, whilst I'm somewhat sad, I understand. I wish for you as I wish for myself, for us to be our most authentic selves, and I'm excited for my new journey to begin!